The Dangers of Taking a Nap
by Reformation
Summary: Ed decides to take a nap while waiting to give Mustang a report. BIG mistake. oneshot


Disclaimer – I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist in any way, shape, or form, so please don't shoot me

_Disclaimer – I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist in any way, shape, or form, so please don't shoot me. _

_This idea just kinda popped into my head a few minutes ago, so I thought I'd write it down before I forgot._

_--_

Ed was exhausted.

After spending the last three months looking for the Philosopher's Stone, he and Al had finally returned to East City to report to Colonel Mustang that he'd still made no progress whatsoever. Now, he was waiting for the bastard to get out of a meeting. Mustang's subordinates were working around him, every once in a while glancing at him, then jumping back to their work when he turned his glare towards them.

After waiting for an hour, Ed finally decided to take a nap.

--

Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc looked up from his work as the Fullmetal Alchemist walked by. He looked like he was in a daze. Taking a closer look, Havoc realized that the shrimp wasn't even awake. The kid was walking slowly to the door.

By then, all eyes of those in the room were following the teenager's path to the door. Fuery made as if to wake him up, but Breda stopped him.

"Let's see where he's going, first." The lieutenant said, wearing a smirk.

Falman, Fuery, and Havoc glanced at each other. Seeing as the colonel was gone, and Hawkeye had taken the day off to visit her grandfather, it wasn't as if they were doing anything.

Besides, it COULD be entertaining…

--

The group made an odd procession going down the hall, drawing stares from passer byers. It wasn't every day you saw four officers following a sleepwalking state alchemist down the hall.

After a while, Ed turned into the mess hall. Peering in after him, the motley crew saw him walk to the nearest table, sit down, and eat whatever was in front of him, to the protests of a new recruit, whose food he was chowing down.

The four stared for a while, and then smiled as they had the same brainstorm at the same time.

--

"Here, see if he'll eat this," Falman said, tossing a jalapeño over to Fuery, who set it down in front of their oblivious victim.

The pepper was picked up, and tossed into Ed's mouth, proceeding into his stomach without even a flinch.

The audience laughed their heads off, and searched for more to give him.

"Men, what is going on here?"

Havoc paused as he was about to drop frogs legs on Ed's plate, and he and the others slowly turned around to face Mustang.

"Umm…….. This isn't what it looks like?" Fuery ventured.

"Really, so you aren't feeding Fullmetal random food items while he's asleep?"

The colonel's underlings shifted around uncomfortably, then stared as their boss grinned, with an evil glint in his eye.

"How about we try something different?"

--

Ed slowly came to, confused at first as to where he was. After figuring out he was in the mess hall, he glanced at the five snickering figures surrounding him.

"Hey, Fullmetal, enjoy your nap?"

"Why does it matter to you?" The young alchemist grumbled. Sitting up, he felt an overwhelming urge to use the bathroom.

"So, it seems that you won't be short for that much longer, shrimp." Mustang managed to get out, his face bright red from laughing.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT- Wait, what the hell do you mean by that?!" Ed shouted, then noticed what had filled the glasses. A container filled with a certain white liquid.

"You didn't…" He said, shaking.

"Oh, but I did."

The shrimp stared off into space for a few seconds, then let out a piercing scream, and ran out of the room, leaving the others rolling on the floor, sides splitting in laughter.

And, thus is how Ed drank his milk, and grew to be 7'1.

Nah, he's still short.

--

Anyway, sorry if their OOC, I'm used to reading things and processing, not actually writing! But I just Had to write this, it was bugging the heck out of me. I'd like to thank my boredom, and the fact that I have a totally great paying job, even though it's part time, and leaves me smelling horrible. It's paying for me to get my own laptop, seeing as I'm using my dad's, which tends to freeze ever ten minutes or so, causing me to lose any information not saved.

P.S. There's a little bluish purple button below this line. Please click it 


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